Saturday, May 15, 2010

My beautiful Bella

What a day we had yesterday! Before I tell you just how much Bella LOVED the movies, I have even bigger news to share.

When I picked Bella up from Daycare yeterday the woman who runs it, Diane, called me aside.
She explained that one of the little girls mothers had been asking after Bella, she was interested to know if Bella was involved in any modelling! Apparently this little girls mother is incharge of recuiting child models for designers like Chloe' and D&G, she thinks Bella would be perfect infact her very words were

"She is one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen"

I mean I knew that, but to hear someone else say it!

Here's the thing though, I'm not sure what I think about child modelling. I don't want to exploit Bella. I have a feeling she would love it, I mean she is a bit of a drama queen and she adores dressing up. But I don't know????

Is it right to let a nearly four year old to do this?

I will have to think about this long and hard.

The woman gave Diane her number to give to me, she says she would like to go out with myself and Bella and chat.

I don't know whether I should mention it to Bella? What should I do?

It is times like this when I hate being a single mother with no family to support me.

I wish I had a mother to talk to, or I wish I could pick up the phone and ring my dad and brothers and ask their advice.

Back to the subject of the Movie, well it was awesome Bella was engrosed the entitre time! Oh and she loved the poppa-corn!

Well I'm off to reflect on my big decision any thoughts or advise would be greatly appreciated.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I heart Fridays

Its Friday! I love fridays more than any other day of the week because on fridays i finish work early and pick Bella up from daycare early and we spend the entire afternoon together. Usually I ask her if she would like to go somewhere but usually she just says she wants to go home.
This morning however when I asked her on the bus on the way to dropping her at daycare she said

"Can we go see a movie, Noah went to see a movie and he said it was dark and he got to eat poppa-corn"

So that is our plan for today, I finish work in just over an hour and then I am taking Bella to see her first ever movie in the movie theatre! We are going to see how to train your dragon in 3D! So it should be really fun, I cant wait to see her face! She will also taste poppa-corn as she calls it for the first time!

I've held off taking her to the Movies because I have honestly thought she is too young but I think now she is ready, I guess I'll find out today.

I will report back on the movie and on how Bella found it!

Have a fun Friday!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

3Q55R7ZCW9TH

Bella and the Beast




Due to what may be some indoctrination on my behalf Bella is obssesed with disneys Beauty and the Beast, and I really do mean obseesed! She wants to watch it every day and the copy she had off Santa for christmas is nearly worn through!
In fact she loves it so much she now insists that I call her Belle instead of Bella!

Not only does Bella love watching the Movie she also likes to play it! Every day after she watches the film (or half of it as I sometimes restrict it to) she says

"come on momma, I'm going to be Belle and you can be the Beast!"

I have to add that not only do I play the beast but also lumiere, cogsworth, gaston, mre potts, chip... the list goes on.

But we do have fun, however as the games have gone on she has wanted more and more props,and yesterday she wanted to dress up, so I let her wear one of my summer dresses (rolled up) but she wasn't exactly satisfied.
She thought it was fine for Belle's blue every day dress but she wanted something extravegant for the golden ball gown.

Next month Bella turns four! I think this would be the perfect birthday present for her. But here's the thing.
I have been looking online for one of these Belle dress up gowns but they are either really expensive or a bit tacky.
If anyone is reading this I wonder if you know of any good places to get kids dress up, or maybe any ideas on how to make a Belle dress.

Here are some photos of the dress in the film fro those of you who have been deprived of not seeing disneys Beauty and the Beast.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mothers Day

If someone had told me on my fourteenth birthday that in four years time I would be celebrating mother's day with my own daughter I would have thought they were totally crazy.
At thirteen and 11 months I hadn't even kissed a boy let alone anything else. I was quiet and studious. I was also pretty darn sure that no boy had any kind of attraction towards me.
Three days after I celebrated turning fourteen I met him.

My mother died when I was six. My father raised my two brothers and myself, alone. My father changed after my mother died, he rarely laughed and we never recieved much demonstrative love. However he had great hopes that I would go far in life. My brothers are both over six years older than me, so by the time I reached middle school it became clear that they were not going to be going to any Ivy leage college. My father placed all that ambition on my shoulders and that was what I was striving for, to please myself but mostly for him.

When he first came up to me in school, as I stood outside my locker, I thought he must be playing some terrible prank. I imaging my face was strawberry red as he backed me into my locker and asked if I would like to go out to the movies with him. He was a senior. I was a freshman.
He was the most popular boy in school. I was NOT the most popular girl.
He was gorgeous. I didn't think I was.

It was not a prank, the follwing friday he picked me up in his bright red truck and we went to the movies and afterward we went to a diner and he bought me a milkshake. Later we went back to his truck and he kissed me, then drove me home.

It didn't take long for me to fall in love with him, he gave me the love and attention I craved. He told me I was beautiful.
It didn't take long for me to be persuaded into doing things.

Three months after we had gone on our first date I found out I was pregnant.
I told him. He told everyone.
I thought he had loved me. He had just used me.

He told the whole school, he seemed impressed that he had done it almost like that it had been some challenge. Get the geeky freshman knocked up.
My father found out, I come from a small town. Once the High School knows everybody knows.

My father made me a deal, I could stay in the house until the baby was born then I had to leave.

Four years later I am celebrating mothers day with a person so perfect she sometimes takes my breath away. Don't get me wrong it has been hard and it will continue to be hard. But thats life.
And my life I get to share with Bella, I wouldnt have changed it for the world.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Everybody Loves Bella!

On Saturdays daycare is closed so Bella comes to work with me. All the staff adore her and she is utterly spoilt, they give her paper and crayons and she always has plenty of milkshakes and ice cream, she loves it! I keep her behind the scenes so she never comes out into the restaurant, she stays in the kitchen. Today however, just as I was tying my apron ready to do the first breakfast orders she said.

"Momma, can I come help?"

Don't get me wrong I do NOT spoil Bella, she goes without a lot of things, some I would love to give her but simply can't.
As I looked down into her beautiful deep blue eyes, I thought how much I would love to be doing some fun stuff with her on a Saturday, I wished I could take her to the park or go swimming, or do craft stuff. But no I had to work and she had to be cooped up with me.

"Ok sweetie!"

So Bella speant all morning sittin at the counter talking to customers! How they loved her! One man inssited on buying her a slice of pie she wanted and I let her sit on the same table as her and chat chat chat away.
As he was leaving he said
"That is the sweetest little girl I've ever met, you should be so proud"
And I was I was Soooo proud!

I even let her help me with some orders she was so clever and polite, and she received so many compliments, especially on her hair. Bella does have really beautiful hair. It's Blonde but really golden and falls just below her shoulders.

I feel so proud of her! She really is growing up and what an amazing person she is becoming! I love you Bella so much!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Busy, Busy Days!


Wow today is shaping up to be a hectic day and it has only just started! My weekday routine usually goes something like this.

1: Get up at 5.30 am, get dressed make Bella breakfast

2: 6.00 am wake Bella (well by this time Bella is usually awake) give her breakfast dress her.

3: 7.00 am walk to catch the bus to Bella's daycare.

4: 7.30 am drop Bella off catch bus to work.

5: 3.00 pm catch bus to pick Bella up, do some grocery shopping, catch bus home.

6: 4.30pm make dinner.

7: 5.30pm play with Bella, then Bath her and read to her.

8: 6.30pm put Bella to bed.

9: 7.00 pm do basic houshold chores and read/watch tv

10: 10.00 pm go to bed

However today it goes something like this

1: Alarm goes off too late get up at 6.00 am, rush around like a crazy person getting myself and Bella

2: Run too catch bus

3:Drop Bella off and run to get bus to work, while on bus to work realize its only 7.10 am get to work extra extra early!!! How did that happen I'm seriously confused!!!

So today is going to go very slowly. Im writing this in work at the moment, but we open in 15 minutes so have to set up, oh well at least Bella will be having fun with Noah in daycare... I hope.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


So Its the middle of the night at the moment, but I cant sleep, Bella has been sick three times this evening and she seems to have a fever. I put her in a coolish bath and that had seemed to cool her down a bit. She is now peacefully asleep, I am not. I can never sleep when she is ill, I worry way to much. I cant help but think, what if she got worse and i slept through it?

On the bright side Im not working today, so she won't have to go to daycare. I hate putting her in day care at the best of times never mind when shes sick. Ironicaly she seems to LOVE daycare. She even has a best friend. His name is Noah, and he is the older man at four! He is adorably sweet. The other day when i picked her up she told me they were going to get married! However there seems to be a slight disagreement between them about what pet they will have. Noah wants a dragon and Bella wants a dog.

Bella really really wants a dog. Every day she asks me.
"Momma when are we getting a dog?"

The thing is I love dogs to, but the place we are renting at the moment has a strict NO PETS policy. Its such a shame I really wich I could get her a dog, and one day I will.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Love.Life.Family

Hey.Hi.Hello. This is my very first blog. Why have I decided to start blogging? Honestly, because I'm lonely and the idea of being able to express my feelings just like in a diary but also maybe get some feedback from whoever you are. If anybody is going to read this that is.

So I'm lola, I'm 18 years old and I'm a mother to my little sweetie Bella who is three years old. Im sure you've done the math and realised that means I had her very very young, and yes it was an accident but please, please dont judge me. I get enough of that in real life.

I'm looking forward to recording Bella's development in these blogs, because I dont want to forget a second of it. But life is busy when your a single teenage mom living alone and working two jobs and sadly Im afraid I will forget the amazing moments we share every day.

Im not here to complain, please dont think that, Im here to be happy about the three most important things life,love and family.
I would love if you joined me on the ride.